i want to return to you or maybe i just want to return to what we shared or maybe i just want to return


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is nostalgia the sentimental price we pay
for having left so many parts of ourselves
in moments we can no longer return to?
.
.
.
in lovers’ arms whose names have grown artifact on our tongues
cobwebbed kisses and closed favorite candy shops

in desert homes with for sale signs on the door and front windows

new government locks
      keep the sweet and bitter sides of family
      within their walls
      snowy winter wonderment
      baby eyes soft and round with awe
      and rage filled throats and fists
      carving escape routes in walls
a cement vault

in your favorite blue basketball shoes
the ones who held undefeated winning streaks
and the missed shots that turned
belly water into screams and gentle tears
in the sacred darkness of bus rides home
the ones with rips
at the toes
pushing your socks 
to reveal themselves   
                                           peering out for the light
                                                                                        for something beyond
your soiled white laces knotted at three different intersections
like look at all of this holding 
.
.
.
or maybe nostalgia is
some type of recovery map

a treasure hunt for the love of your life

and you go through all of these twists and turns

highs and lows
back and forths
out and ins

and you meet all of these people

who come and leave like the breeze
or a storm
or the sunshine
and some who stay

longer

than you 
could ever wish for
and some who feel like a dream
or the stillness of the moon
or a prayer you didn’t know you were casting
some who you could have never imagined 

and you go through this labyrinth 
just to find
yourself

exactly where you entered
where you got lost

but deeply changed
.
.
.
and maybe nostalgia is 





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